What not to wear: fangirl edition

I don’t act like I’m trendy or a fashionista.

But when it comes to concert outfits, I usually stress out over an outfit more than I did for my senior prom.

Like it or not, there are general rules every concertgoer should follow when it comes to what you’re wearing. These rules are for your own good. For the love of everything that is good in this world of crowd surfing, heed my word!

1) The most broken rule of all…

Now, this is the rule that is to never … ever … EVER be broken — no matter what. DO NOT wear a band shirt of the band you’re going to see.

You’re at their concert; we all know you’re a fan.

Not to mention, if you wear that shirt, think about how many other people will be wearing the same shirt.

Just don’t do it.

If a band is known to wear a certain clothing brand, it’s okay to wear that. No one is going to sue you for liking the same clothes as the band members.

2) These boots were made for walkin’… no they weren’t

I made the stupid mistake one time of wearing heels to a concert. It was Owl City and I was working for the opening act, Days Difference. I knew I would have the opportunity to go backstage, so I wanted to look nice. I had also thought I’d have the opportunity to sit down.

Alas, that didn’t happen. Let’s just say that my friend Ashley Owens and I ended up crawling to our cars.

We couldn’t break the other footwear rule of keeping your shoes on no matter what.

Nothing makes someone look more like a bum that didn’t plan correctly than when they walk around without shoes on.

UGGS… Just no. Never. Ashley and I saw a girl wearing the sparkly ones at an outdoor concert in the summer. I can’t rationalize this at all.

3) Now for your 7-day forecast…

If the venue is outdoors, check the weather.

On Saturday, I knew it was going to be cold, but still assumed that it would warm up once everyone was packed in and dancing. Nope.

I shed my jacket so I could go crowdsurfing and landed right where everyone was packed. I was still freezing.

I guess the moral of the story is: if it’s cold, overdress. If worse comes to worse, designate someone as the holder of the coats.

Also, this applies if it’s way hot. I don’t care if you’re trying to express your individuality and make a statement, if it’s blazing hot at warped tour, take off your all-black hoodie.

People have died from being overheated, so please don’t be that kid.

4) Your face

As far as makeup goes, aim for minimal. Chances are, whether you’re upfront in the sweaty moshpit, or in the back, you’re going to be sweating to some degree.

So unless it’s a Ke$ha concert where it’s acceptable to have makeup running down your face, keep it simple.

5) To wear the dress or to not wear the dress…

Now this is tricky. If you don’t plan on standing near the stage for a general admission show, or if you’re at an arena show, I say go for it.

I like to think that I don’t need to explain why you shouldn’t wear a dress or skirt close to the stage.

Just don’t forget to pair it with sensible shoes.

But don’t wear a dress, or really any item of clothing, where the “hot to wash” tag is the biggest piece of fabric on the item.

6) When in doubt, leave it out.

If you’re worried about whether or not something will discomfort you, just leave it at home.

That super cute necklace with a huge pendent on it — you’re totally rocking it until you’re jumping and it hits you in the face.

7) Corny and Cliché … be yourself.

If you have a signature look or accessory that boosts your confidence, don’t worry about what your friends say and wear it.

Yeah, that plaid scarf was so 2006… Who cares?

In particular, my friends tend to say they won’t go out in public with me when I wear knee-high socks. I don’t know. I just like to pair them with shorts, or roll the bottoms of jeans up. It’s different and this way I at least feel like I stand out from a sea of skinny jeans.

7) What have we learned?

Be yourself, but don’t be stupid. Concerts are a time to have fun and show off your real personality.

You’re not like everyone else, so why should your outfit look like every other outfit there?  

1 comments Anonymous Sat Apr 27 2013 12:36 This was the stupidest thing I have ever read.

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