Slow news week: So, a fox walks into the White House and…

You know that the government is shut down. You know that the debt ceiling is soon approaching. You know that there’s still a conflict going on in Syria, although the chemical weapons are being dismantled. You don’t need us to tell you that these things are going on. And honestly, here at Youngstown State University, there hasn’t been a huge news story since the budget cuts were announced. In short, it’s been a slow news week. For our summer readers, this might sound familiar. For the rest of you, here’s how this works — we can’t find a whole lot to write about, so instead, we give you the most ridiculous news we can find. Here we go …

Amidst the government shutdown, the White House has gained new residents. The Atlantic reported that a fox moved into the White House grounds about two weeks ago. Because of the shutdown, groundskeepers have been kept from working and the fox remains at-large amongst Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden — which is also unattended by paid professionals and has become the home of squirrels feasting on the crops.

The captain of the North Andover High School volleyball team has been demoted and suspended for five games after acting as a designated driver for a friend. The Massachusetts school district stuck with it’s zero tolerance policy on underage drinking and drug use when deciding that Erin Cox would be punished. Support has been in no short supply for the 17-year-old former captain, with supporters coming out on Twitter with the hashtag “IStandWithErinCox.” Her family filed a lawsuit against the school district, but the district judge ruled that the court had no jurisdiction over the case. Cox still feels that she did the right thing, telling the Boston Globe that, “I felt like going to get her was the right thing to do.”

Finally, a kangaroo found its way into Melbourne Airport on Wednesday. In response, part of the Qantas terminal was placed on lockdown as wildlife workers cornered and eventually tranquilized the wayward animal in, fittingly enough, a pharmacy. Needless to say, the event has become a bit of a social media sensation and fodder for Australian comedians. According to an employee of the group tasked with wrangling the ‘roo, Wildlife Vitcoria, this particular marsupial was missing some teeth and appeared to have been hit by a car. Don’t worry, though! Under the care of a veterinarian, “Cyrus” will be bouncing back to health in no time.

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