'Hellboy' plotline all too familiar for comic book movies

Here's a joke for you all. Question: What do you get when you take Wesley Snipes out of "Blade" and replace him with an angst-ridden, wisecracking demon?Answer: Hellboy!

Hellboy is the newest addition to the ever-expanding list of comic books that have been made into films. "Hellboy" has its roots in the comic books of the same title published by Dark Horse Comics. The series amassed a cult following and this movie resulted from it.

After watching this movie, though, I believe the best course of action for any other cult comic creator is to pack up their work and head for the hills before Hollywood can find out about it.


Hellboy, played by Ron Perlman, is the son of Satan summoned to Earth by the Nazis. In the story, the Nazis ally themselves with crazed Russian monk Rasputin (Karel Roden) to bring forth the forces of hell to help them win World War II.

Oh those crazy Nazis, what will they think of next? One day they're invading Poland; the next, they're summoning the forces of Lucifer to do their bidding.


Hellboy is captured by Professor Bruttenholm (John Hurt) and is raised as his son in a secret government laboratory. Hellboy grows an impressive set of mutton chops and travels the world in secret fighting the forces of darkness with his friends Liz Sherman (Selma Blair) and Abe Sapien (voiced by David Hyde Pierce). With the help of nerdy FBI agent John Myers (Rupert Evans), the trio must stop the newly-resurrected Rasputin and his Nazi friends from destroying the world for no adequately-explored reason.


The movie features impressive cinematography and set-design, and many scenes make the audience believe they are watching a live-action comic book.

The movie also includes several long fight scenes to entertain any diehard action movie fan. Hardly ten minutes in the film go by without a shot being fired, someone getting stabbed, or something bursting into flames.


Sadly, eye-candy and violence do not a good movie make.

Movie audiences have seen this all before. The movie deals with vigilante demon-hunting almost exactly like "Blade." Also, one cannot help but think of "X-men" over and over again as Hellboy struggles with his desire to be human in a society that won't accept him.


Too much of this movie comes off as either cheesy or overdramatic. Blair's character mopes around through most of the movie with big dark circles under her eyes. Agent Myers is so much of a third-wheel in the plot his only input to the movie is standing around and looking astonished.


The film has a subplot that explores the love story between Hellboy and Liz that falls flat on its face most of the time. The characters also spout off lines to one another that are so corny and sugary-sweet, a friend who saw the movie with me had to give me a shot of insulin.


"Hellboy" also takes the occult (something usually associated with being dark and intriguing) to levels of outright hokey-ness. A lot of "Hellboy" is peppered with cheese ball lines such as: "In the absence of light, darkness reigns." Or "There is a dark place, where ancient evil slumbers."


While it's certainly not the worst movie you'll ever see, there are better things in theaters to spend your money on. If you happen to find a $10 bill on the sidewalk, by all means, go see it.

If not, you can still get the "Hellboy" experience by renting one of the other six thousand comic book movies that have been released, and just imagine the main character has horns.


Call Bill Rodgers at (330) 941-1913.