‘Murica

Society really needs to change.

After Facebooking and tweeting all day at work and school, it’s really nice to come home and submerge oneself in an hour of celebrities jumping off the high dive, a “Jersey Shore” spinoff and “Entertainment Tonight.”

Speaking of, “ET” just teases stories. They never really get to the point.

All they do is lead you on.

And you know what we need more of? Game shows!

Once the primetime reality shows die down, what better than everyday people doing stupid things to win money?

Nothing. That’s what!

That is, as long as it doesn’t interfere with a sporting event.

Thank the Lord we have three days of the NFL Draft to distract ourselves from the real world this weekend.

The experts on ESPN — man, those guys are smart. Have you met anyone else that can dissect and analyze sports like they’re Shakespeare?

Ph.D.s? No way.

It’s the washed up, former NFL players that really know what’s up. We should strive to achieve that level of brilliance and proficiency in something so important to human development.

And we can never have too much stuff. Ever.

Think about it: When haven’t you needed a metal bowl that you can make hard tortilla shells in? Taco night will never be the same at your house.

Also, get a shrinking hose to save time after you wash your car so you can spend more time playing Temple Run and Fruit Ninja.

The fact of the matter is the news is depressing, and we shouldn’t have to deal with it. Politics are really boring. The stock market is hard to figure out. The world’s problems will sort themselves out. We don’t need to get involved.

We should all strive for the easiest, most sugarcoated form of entertainment to escape from the horrors of reality.

Only then will we truly find happiness. And that’s what makes America the best country in the world.