Stop talking about "Extreme Makeover" -- now (commentary)
Bob Mackey
Issue date: 10/20/05 Section: ae
I'm not sure if anyone is aware of this, but the television show "Extreme Makeover Home Edition" has recently landed in our fair little valley of Mahoning. I honestly had no idea this was going on until recently, when every third word spoken on campus was one of the following: "extreme," "makeover," "home," and/or "edition." I also heard the word "jerk" a lot, but this was mainly spoken from afar by groups of people who could not sympathize with me and my apathy towards both "Extreme Makeover" and reality television in general. Just to make sure I really was the odd man out on this one, I hit the Internet and booted up one of local news sites. There, I saw a banner: "Extreme Makeover Home Edition is in The Valley." This was stated as if the President's corpse was hitting our town, and everyone was psyched to get in line to touch that star-spangled grave blanket. My suspicions were confirmed: the entirety of Youngstown had "Extreme Makeover" fever.
The disease-carrying mosquito in this case is TV's Ty Pennington, the man women want to be with and men want to pummel. I know very little about him, except for the fact that women find him irresistibly sexy in the same way they find Johnny Depp sexy; one exception to this comparison is that if you took away Ty's celebrity status, he would look like a normal guy and not a well-dressed pedophile. If you're a woman, I fully expect you to know who Ty is. If you're a man and don't know who Ty is, then you probably don't have a girlfriend or common law wife who forces you to watch shows like "Extreme Makeover." It's a total girlfriend show, and it makes me think back bitterly at the times I was forced to watch shows like "Trading Spaces," "7th Heaven," and occasionally, "World's Scariest Police Chases."
"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is much more deceptive than the aforementioned "Trading Spaces," though, mainly because of Ty. At least with "Trading Spaces," boyfriends the world over could leer at the cute-as-a-button Paige Davis while all of the decorating was transpiring. This is not so with "Extreme Makeover;" even though an attractive woman is presented to the viewers, she's no Paige Davis. To make things even worse for men, "Extreme Makeover" presents the female viewer with the pinnacle of all manhood. Not only was Ty Pennington created in a lab to be the perfect man, he also had to build the lab first using only nails and particle board; he's that good. Truthfully, I'm genuinely impressed with the power "Extreme Makeover" has to emasculate in two different ways. My guess is that during the next season, a prompt will precede every episode, telling all male viewers to put on their pretty pink dresses.
The disease-carrying mosquito in this case is TV's Ty Pennington, the man women want to be with and men want to pummel. I know very little about him, except for the fact that women find him irresistibly sexy in the same way they find Johnny Depp sexy; one exception to this comparison is that if you took away Ty's celebrity status, he would look like a normal guy and not a well-dressed pedophile. If you're a woman, I fully expect you to know who Ty is. If you're a man and don't know who Ty is, then you probably don't have a girlfriend or common law wife who forces you to watch shows like "Extreme Makeover." It's a total girlfriend show, and it makes me think back bitterly at the times I was forced to watch shows like "Trading Spaces," "7th Heaven," and occasionally, "World's Scariest Police Chases."
"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" is much more deceptive than the aforementioned "Trading Spaces," though, mainly because of Ty. At least with "Trading Spaces," boyfriends the world over could leer at the cute-as-a-button Paige Davis while all of the decorating was transpiring. This is not so with "Extreme Makeover;" even though an attractive woman is presented to the viewers, she's no Paige Davis. To make things even worse for men, "Extreme Makeover" presents the female viewer with the pinnacle of all manhood. Not only was Ty Pennington created in a lab to be the perfect man, he also had to build the lab first using only nails and particle board; he's that good. Truthfully, I'm genuinely impressed with the power "Extreme Makeover" has to emasculate in two different ways. My guess is that during the next season, a prompt will precede every episode, telling all male viewers to put on their pretty pink dresses.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
bicycleman1974
bicycleman1974
posted 10/22/05 @ 12:54 AM EST
Nothing but sour grapes...who whizzed in your Post Toasties this morning???
Anonymous
posted 8/04/06 @ 3:30 PM EST
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