Don’t touch my screen!

Many thanks to …

Lamar: Your spontaneous, intelligent, outgoing, hilarious character was welcoming during my first day of workshop. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have opened up to the office. Our shared interests of hip-hop, “The Wire” and philosophy led to mentally stimulating conversations. Ironically, I assumed you to be a grunge listener.

Mary Beth: Congratulations to you and Adam. Thank you for the right amount of wise words at the right time. On the first day of workshop, you reminded me of Julia Louis-Dreyfus. You conduct an academic environment that is journalistic, professional and conversational.

Adam Rogers and Brian: You two added to the welcoming environment of The Jambar and showed me what a newsroom is. The Jambar is a think-tank with a diverse workplace. The students within it have a goldmine of opinions and experiences. I was lucky to have the privilege of being part of it. I was able to bounce theories off my fellow coworkers and test ideas. We shared stories and memories, and we progressed together.

Teresa Soos: Dang, I miss the Pam Beasley of The Jambar. Teresa, I’m happy to have shared my time at the office with you. I like your unique, artistic, creative, free-spirited personality. Wow, we shared a wide-range of memories from art, the finer things in life, comedy and food. You also entertained me during my wild hypotheses.

Sam: My dude, my dude. Remember how leery you were of me? I am glad to have restored your faith in rap by introducing you to hip-hop. Thanks for listing when I needed to vent; you’re a good friend. Don’t be a stranger.

Professor Pittman: You taught me that I am not a reporter, and I am grateful for that. You’re a good and understanding man. I’m also glad we share common ground because of “The Simpsons.”

Dan Pompili: You showed me the living, breathing definition of a news reporter; because of you, I respect news reporters. In addition to skill, hard work and long hours, great news reporters have an ability to visualize the story before it goes to print. You have it. I am happy to have witnessed a gumshoe reporter in action.

Doug: You’re a great outside-of-the-box thinker. I enjoyed our opposing viewpoints debates and our academic approach to general — random — topics. Don’t let the stress get to you. You have the natural ability to lead and manage people, and you’re able to empathize with those below you on the chain of command. I have a great deal of respect for you, Douglas. Thanks for allowing me to pick your brain; you were generous with the distance you allowed me to push the envelope. That “Boardwalk” is wonderful television.

Chris: Yeah, naw … that was whack on my behalf. I’d like to go on the record and say that sometimes Jeffrey is on his bullshit, and on event in question, Jeffrey was on his hardheaded BS. When I first met you, I knew we shared many similarities; I likened you to a brother. However, I knew our road to respect and friendship would be a hard-fought one. Thanks for being you. I respect your ability to test people about their unquestioned beliefs, and to allow them to make themselves look foolish in the face of facts. You produce good journalism because you’re willing to maintain an open mind.

You listen to others and look for truth. Above all, you have the balls to stand up to bullshit and do the right thing in the face of danger.

Mary: You surpassed my expectations within a few months. I miss Olga, and there’s no replacement for her. However, there’s no replacement for you. You have a great sense of humor and we’ve shared some good jokes. I’m glad to have been able to make your transition into the office a smooth and enjoyable one.

Chelsea: I was amazed by your professionalism and work process. You’re my first example of an editor-in-chief, and you maintained a creative, free-flowing workplace. It allowed for endless topics and debates.

Josh: You applied knowledge from Chelsea’s example, and you raised the bar. Man, I witnessed the only editor in Jambar history to back to back the position. I was impressed with your leadership abilities, despite your young age.

…I watched relationships grow and blossom … No one got knocked up … Wait. That did happen.

Marissa: I remember your box-cutter days as if it was yesterday. Don’t change a thing about yourself. I’m glad to know you. Your inner happiness radiates into the environment around you — “Shine bright … ” You’re a beautiful person on the inside as well as the outside. You make me smile. I was upset with you when you denied my proposal to become my wing-woman. I just figured that we both get along so well and we’re such opposites that we’d mutually benefit from each other’s friendship.

Joe: I love you, kid. You remind me a lot of my younger innocent self — back when I was a Toys ‘R’ Us kid. Don’t push people or make fun of others to feel better about yourself. Jokes and having fun is cool — not at the expense of other peoples’ feelings, however. You are a funny, one-of-a-kind, good guy. Don’t try to be an ass; be you. Everyone enjoys a unique set of interests. Don’t knock someone until you know the history behind his or her likes and dislikes. You definitely have a knack for video editing. Keep working to better your videos …. motherf–ker!

Ah, no. It’s Campbell. Haha. I still have love for you, Wilaj. Stop falling for the other team’s mascot. They only tell you what you want to hear to get into your pants in order to jinx your team. YSU men’s football might be undefeated if it wasn’t for your fling in North Dakota.

Jordan: You’re a very knowledgeable young man. After I found out about your knowledge of Nas, I was impressed and caught off guard. I turn to you for diverse, rational and intelligent opinions. I had to reassess my concept of your person a second time after reviewing your library. I always considered you as a smart person; now I know you’re also a person who never ceases to amaze. I feel proud to see you dressed professionally. Be good kid … and don’t allow Kacy to negatively influence you.

Kacy: Don’t negatively influence Jordan! I’m glad that you remember our first interaction. I knew an adorable person was hidden beneath those sweats and droopy sad face. You didn’t seem happy at the information desk. You’ve become an impressive professional, and you’re a perfect fit at The Jambar. I can’t imagine the office without you. Thanks for answering all of my questions as I try to make sense of women and life.

Kevin: Man, I like you guys. You two are some of the coolest people to come from Bliss since Teresa Soos and her friends. Kevin, thanks for working with me and embracing the good in me. I know we don’t listen to the same music, but you’re open and very tolerant. Thanks for getting to know me and showing interest in my tales of worldly adventure.

Paris: I am so glad you don’t listen to that cracker music, and for listening to enough emo music that all I have to do is ask you a question about it to get the answer because I am not going to listen to it. You need to get some Wu Tang in your life. You and Kevin have that youthful creativity that’s current and fresh.

Emmalee: I remember your help at the Writing Center. The United States needs more people like you. Upon your earthly departure, the literacy rate will fall. In high school, I was too cool for proper grammar, and I’m paying for it now and playing catch up. You’ve also become a professional before my eyes. I’m happy to be a part of your style progression.

Alisa: I couldn’t have imagined how our paths would meet. I remember you from The Bucks and The Y. Then, one day I was working with you at The Jambar. I enjoy talking to you. I am able to tell you anything without the fear of judgment. I respect your family values, morality, your personal and professional opinion. After you said that I should cut my hair, I thought to myself I should cut it. I prepared to cut my losses, and six months later I cut my locks-iz.

I’ve never met someone who made me want to change habits and actions solely based on it being the right action. You being the person you are exposed who I should be. I knew better, but I wasn’t doing better. You being the better person made me realize that I need to change in order to attract better people. Your parents should write a parenting 101 book because they raised a woman, a sister and a lady. Alisa, you are what girls should strive to be.

Knowing you will forever change how I measure women. You also taught me to never settle for a lesser person to replace loneness.  

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